awesome-skills-for-kids

Be the "Squeaky Wheel" parent. Here's how to Advocate for your Child.

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 09:21:23 GMT

Seriously, your child deserves better.

Why are we accepting it when our kids are ignored?

This week I’ve been so disappointed hearing how about how schools, and some other organisations have not been looking after some of the lovely kids we work for.

It’s not right and it should change.

What I see a lot of the time is parents feeling hesitant.

Hesitant to push the boundaries with teachers or principals.
Hesitant to insist that their child is worth making modifications for.
Hesitant to be the “squeaky wheel”.

Your child can’t advocate for themselves. So as parents, we need to be willing to have people in authority be upset with us.

We aren’t teenagers anymore. We don’t need anyone’s approval. Be really clear about what your needs are and then be persistent about making sure that those needs get met.

Here’s how things should work (well this is what I believe):

Every week, I get about 100 text messages to my personal phone from parents about the children who I work directly with. I view those text messages is so valuable for giving me feedback about what our children need. It enables me to tweak what I do to support each child.
Add to that plenty of emails about what is working or not working for our kids and teens. I’ll do whatever I can change to adapt for kids and teens.
It all comes from a belief that all therapies should be adapted to fit a child’s needs, not a child adapting to fit into some sort of program or therapy.

So be high maintenance.

Push the boundaries with whoever you work with (including us). Advocate for your child even if it means people getting off-side or people viewing you as high maintenance.

Be confident,

Michael Clark (From Amazing Skills for Autism)

0481614517

Parenting - Helping Our Kids Feel Loved is Easier Than We Thought

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 18:41:32 GMT

Hi Parents In Our Autism Community - Jerry Seinfeld has some encouragement for you.

Jerry's thoughts below, but first, I (Michael) was thinking:

What do we so often feel like failures?

Why do we feel like we are letting our kids down?

In my career I’ve worked with more than 10,000 parents, professionally.

Out of 10,000, I only ever met 2 parents who thought they were doing a good job. Both those parents were as crazy as could be. But why do the rest of us feel so bad?

As a parent, sometimes I feel bad because:

I should be giving my kids more time or
I should be giving them healthier food or
I shouldn’t be giving them so much computer time when I’m exhausted.
I should be more patient than I am with them.
But sometimes just surviving the day is enough, isn't it?

The comedian Jerry Seinfield:

He has three kids— and here’s what he says:

“I’m a believer in the ordinary and the mundane. These guys that talk about ‘quality time’ – I always find that a little sad when they say, ‘We have quality time.’

I don’t want quality time. I want the garbage time. That’s what I like.

You just see them in their room reading a comic book and you get to kind of watch that for a minute…

Having a bowl of [chips] at 11 o’clock at night when they’re not even supposed to be up.

The garbage, that’s what I love.”

(Quoted from ‘dailydad’)

So I don’t know about you, but I’m going to choose to relax a bit and drop some of the guilt that goes with being a parent.

If parenting was easy, everyone would do it. Let’s give ourselves credit for just doing our best.

Just as a side note, if you're struggling, reach out to us. We can help your family with programs like ‘Secret Agent Society’, ‘Peers For Teens’, ‘Boys Group’, ‘Girls Group’, Minecraft, Art Friendship group, and a bunch of others at www.amazingskills.com.au .

And remember that you are an awesome parent (Yep - you’re the sort of parent who reads an email like this to get supported.)

�� Michael from Amazing Skills For Autism

0481614517

"Puss In Boots 2" - It's the Exact Encouragement For Any Mum/Dad of Kids With Autism (Weirdly, it changed me - I feel like a different parent)

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 18:37:47 GMT

Tell me I’m off-the-planet levels of crazy, but this film completely changed my perspective on my parenting. Completely - "Puss in Boots: The Last Wish".

Goldilocks halfway through the movie realises this:

She doesn’t need to keep striving and chasing her giant goal in life (the goal of having her “Perfect Family”).

Suddenly it dawns on her that she’s actually got a wonderful family. She can choose to be grateful for them.

Sure, they might be a quirky family of “Goldilocks & 3 Bears” who constantly squabble, fight and have melt-downs.

Yet, they definitely love each other.

So Goldilocks can stop her crazy, stressed-out quest to create the perfect family because she realises that she has actually already got what she is wanted.

This totally changed my perspective on parenting.

Be encouraged: We’ve just recently seen a few dozen of our students graduate from “Secret Agent Society” and “Peers Friendship Skills For Teens”. They’ve had a big friendship skills upgrade, but they are still the exact same kids who their parents could have been just as proud of at the start of the course.

Yes, in our own imperfect families, let’s get our kids all the help we can, and also let’s remember this - That we’ve got lovely, caring, good-hearted kids who are going to have a really positive impact on the world.

Like Goldilocks, we’ve already got exactly the family we need… if we can take a moment to realise that.

Keep being amazing.

If you're at your wits end, and need a reminder of how you're actually a fantastic parent (even if you don't feel like it), get in touch on www.amazingskills.com.au or 0481614517 .

Choose optimism and action, rather than discouragement.

Michael Clark

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

AUTISM: How Will My Child Ever Get A Job?

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 18:28:37 GMT

Well, this can be easier than most parent realise. Let's start by giving our child tasks when they are young and then rewarding them when they do it.

7 years old: Cleaning a bedroom, making sure the bookshelves are tidy… ($5/week).

12 years old: Vacuuming the house, washing the car… ($12/week + heaps of bonus tech-time).

15 years old: Lawnmowing the neighbours’ lawn or washing your best friend's car or doing basic housework for them. ($30 + a sense of personal achievement).

18 years old: Running their own ebay store – Feeling successful because Mum and child go to garage sales on Saturday, then mum helps her child list stuff on the eBay on Sunday.

21 years old: Designing graphics as a freelancer.

Tweak these to suit your child. It’s just a matter of working out what is achievable for your child.

Small steps turned into a routine that happens regularly leads to confidence and more skills.

Also, if it’s helpful, we run a “Job Skills” course. It’s here: www.amazingskills.com.au/employment-skills

Good luck with your day. You can do this.

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

(Autism and computer games) When my own child spends waaayyyy too much time on computer games. Tony Attwood (Autism extreme-expert) says this helpful

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 18:18:57 GMT

This was so helpful that I just had to share it with you… Why our autistic kids and teens are so addicted to playing computer games?

Tony Attwood (basically the go-to guru in Australia on Autism) said:

This is what our kids get out of computer game time:

Get a temporary escape - to get away from the world and it stresses.
Create a sense of connection with other people who think like they do (which doesn’t always happen - in the real world)
Computer games give instant gratification - because there are always a series of goals and you achieve them and you get told you are a champion for achieving them.
There’s a good sense of challenge that appeals to kids with Autism
Often kids to feel unpopular at school can feel a sense of popularity with other gamers
There’s usually hardly any social chit-chat or off topic social cues to read. It simplifies interacting with others
In some types of computer games, kids can build their own avatar, which is a pretend person who they can be, like a superhero or something like that.

Why is this so important for me as a parent (Michael writing this)?

It’s because we run Minecraft social skills programs – so our kids are each week learning social skills while we together play Minecraft on our home computers. My own son is part of that group so I see him doing it each week

And what Tony Attwood is saying here explains why my son loves that program so much.

Sometimes as a parent I worry about how much time my own kids spend playing computer games, but my son comes to our Minecraft social skills program each week and he has learnt so much from it.

Basically my son is learning how to express his own opinions and how to have conversations.

By the way, 6 of our staff have their own kids learning social skills in the Minecraft Social Skill program. Because unlike most other therapies out there, our kids always desperate to get started in their Minecraft mini-groups each week.

So, let’s not be overly worried when our kids are getting super absorbed in computer games. Sure, we would rather see them kick a ball outside or something. However, Tony Attwood’s explanation makes sense about why they love games.

Also if you’d like to know more about the Minecraft Social Skills groups for kids with Autism, everything is here: https://www.amazingskills.com.au/minecraft

Keep being an amazing parent,

Michael Clark from Amazing Skills

0481614517

Most Kids/Teens with Autism I Talk to Don't Feel Loved (Parents - Please Read)

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 18:09:49 GMT

Hi Parents In Our Autism Community - This was HARD to write, yet important.

This is unbelievably sad for me to write. I’ll bet this is something your child deals with. In fact, I sort of dare you to have a chat with your child and find out.

Here’s what I’m seeing again and again and again - it’s heartbreaking and unnecessary –

The kids and teens with Autism I work with do not feel loved by their parents. In fact they find it hard to feel loved at all.
In their heads, they know they are loved but they aren’t feeling it in their hearts. They really aren’t.

Here is the issue for parents: Our kids with Autism are not seeing the difference between:

Who they are to their parents (beautiful, loved kids)

The choices they make & their behaviours & outbursts (which are up and down).

As parents, you know the difference, but your son or daughter doesn’t.

Prevent this heartbreak - Please help your child understand this about how you view your child:

What your child is NOT:

You are not your choices. You are not the words you said yesterday. You are not what the teacher at school says about you.

Instead - let's tell our kids what they ARE:

You are you. You are amazing. You have what it takes. You are very much loved regardless of whatever good or negative things you do. Nothing you can do will cause you to be more loved or less loved.

This is not a one-time conversation. This is a “many times before my child begins to believe it” conversation.

If you don’t think that this is an issue for your child, I would be pretty surprised. Almost all of the kids and teens I work with are dealing with this even though they won’t say it to their parents.

With every part of me, I’d wholeheartedly encourage you to have a chat with your child about this. Set an alarm on your phone - write it on your hand. Whatever it takes to remember.

That was hard to say. Let’s finish with something a little bit happier:

So many of our kids are learning new friendship skills - so they can feel loved at school by new friends they are making. So I've put it here for you exactly what your child will learn in our most popular courses for kids with Autism:

(Ages 8-12yo) “Secret Agent Society”

See the super-detailed skills your child learns here for you: www.amazingskills.com.au/SAS-Friendship-Skills-Explained

(Ages 13-25yo) “Peers For Teens/Young Adults” Social Skills Course

See the super-detailed skills your child learns here for you: www.amazingskills.com.au/peers-friendship-skills-explained

With you every step of the way,

Michael Clark

Amazing Skills

0481614517

Autism Parenting - Is This The Most Encouraging Thing For Parents Of Kids/Teens With Autism?

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 18:04:57 GMT

Hi Parents In Our Autism Community - You DESERVE some Encouragement

As parents, we know that our kids are the real heroes of their life-stories. Let’s be honest though, you are your little hero’s best supporter.

Get encouraged with the progress of our ‘Little Heroes’:

Kim (12 years old) who now plays Minecraft most weeks with another girl who is her only friend. (What’s amazing is that she is never had a friend before).
Aiden (8 years old) who now has more skills to handle his emotions when things go wrong after a big day. Now Mum says “Aiden’s meltdowns are usually lasting about 30 minutes, whereas he used to meltdown for a couple of hours.”
Jayden (14 y.o.) has got a group of 3 or 4 good friends at school and they play together every day. Only 6 months ago, he was going from group to group at school, just unable to find acceptance. He said to me “Now I know how to have friends.”
Brody (9 y.o) went on school camp a couple of months ago and had a really good time. Mum was super-prepared with the school-teachers leading up to it. However the real difference was that Brody now has more skills per handling his emotions and he has practice those skills a lot with the leaders in his social group.
I could list out to you dozens of other children off the top of my head who are just flourishing.

And here’s some easy-to-do things working for other parents:

Making tech time (computer game time) a reward for doing therapies or social skills courses. (That's because our kids will use tech time anyway, so we may as well make it a reward.)
Insisting on a routine of 15 minutes/30 minutes/45 minutes of outdoor playtime in the backyard (Because the exercise helps, it buys mum some rare ‘me-time’, and often kids enjoy themselves more than they think they will)
Taking your child to the library and getting a bunch of library books (Reading is non-tech time (Goodness me!) that helps your child recharge alone, without the ‘hype-up’ factor that screens give).
Describing social skills courses or therapies as “Leadership Skills Programs” when you go there. (Talking about “social skills” implies deficiency but “leadership skills” implies that others see potential in your child.)
Watching “Cute Funny Animal Videos” as a family on You-tube (Our kids are going to watch something, so it’s healthier for them to watch something that won’t escalate them. animals are relaxing, funny and create a really happy vibe.

Hey Super-Mum or Super-Dad - we’re proud of you and we are right behind you. If there’s any way we can help your child with ‘Social Skills’ programs just ask and we’ll do our best to help.

Remember we can help your family with programs like ‘Secret Agent Society’, ‘Peers For Teens’, ‘Boys Group’, ‘Girls Group’, Minecraft, Art Friendship group, and a bunch of others at www.amazingskills.com.au .

And remember that you are an awesome parent (Yep - you’re the sort of parent who reads an email like this to find ideas that can help your child.)

�� Michael from Amazing Skills For Autism

0481614517

Mums and Dads DESERVE Help Too - How To Ask For Real Help from Other Parents You Know is Soooooooo Important - Here's How You Ask For It.

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:53:15 GMT

Hi Parents,

We get exhausted and we often feel alone. Parenting our kids with autism is worthwhile and amazing - but very, very hard.

As part of our weekly encouragement emails for you, here's the best tip I can give you - Don't do the journey alone.

So where to get the support you need?

Not the grandparents - you've tried that.

Not your friends with neurotypical/average kids - they don't get it.

Not the lady at the shops who looks at you like "Why don't you control your child!" - she'll never get it.

Here's where you get your support:

Other parents who have kids or teens with Autism. They get it. They walk the path. I'm lucky to work with about 20 other leaders and staff on our team who have kids with Autism and I'll gradually introduce you to their best ideas. But you don't need 20 other parents.

You just need one other parent.

One you can text on a hard day.

One who will listen after another meltdown.

One who 'gets it'.

Not a 'Face`book friend' - a real person.

So next step: Who do you know who you can start to talk to - to get real support from someone who is waiting for you to just let them know you need a hand. Maybe at school. Maybe down the street. Be brave to reach out to them.

If you don't have someone like this, let us know and we'll try to get you some support. That's what we are here for.

PARENT HINT: You're more capable of getting through each day than you realise - and especially if you don't do life alone. :)

Michael Clark (Course leader at Amazing Skills for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

Who You Gonna Call? These Guys Help Parents Get UN-Stuck with NDIS and Helping Kids/Teens

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:46:53 GMT

Hi Parents, we all feel isolated and abandoned at times. When kids hit rough patches or NDIS gets tricky, here's our favourite people for helping families get "UN-stuck".

Bianca and Jesse at Flying Fox Camps (For Autism):

They run 15 camps each year and on 40 weekends a year, they are looking after teens and creating great experiences for them. There is no other organisation in Australia that we know of that comes close to the amazing things these guys are doing for kids and teens with Autism. They are in Victoria, but well worth you going for a road-trip to drop your child off to them. They will be expanding all around Australia in the next couple of years. Look them up.

Getting “Unstuck” with NDIS issues - Kim and Tiana at PlanHero:

These guys are one of only about 3 plan managers in Australia is that we would ever recommend because Kim and Tiana are proactive and help people get ready for their plan reviews. Also when NDIS says, "No" to things, these guys work out how to get a "Yes" from NDIS. They have helped so many of our parents get “unstuck”. They cover all Australia – so Google them.

Support Co-ordinators:

Our favorites would be Jamie Taylor and her friends at “Taylored Support Co-ordination”. These guys help a lot of our self-managed NDIS people find things to help their kids. They literally answer every email question that we’ve ever sent them within a couple of hours. Also they are always happy to phone up our parents and have a chat with them and get them the help they need, even people who aren't their own clients. (Google them - covering all of Australia)

Courses for your child (Secret Agent Society, Peers For Teens, Boys Group, Girls Group, Minecraft etc):

Yes, we are here for you at Amazing Skills (Australia-Wide). If there is something we can do to help, let us know. Also if you just want to have a chat with someone who is going to listen and care, give us a call and Naomi or Cherie-Ann and would be happy to help. www.amazingskills.com.au or 0481614517 .

Hope this helps,

Michael from Amazing Skills (For Autism).

Choose optimism and action, rather than discouragement.

Michael Clark

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

AUTISM: Meet 3 Young People With Autism Who Are Proving Everybody Wrong.

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:42:30 GMT

I'm about to introduce you to 3 young people who are improving their social skills so much!

I'm not going to tell you their names (I'm actually completely changing their names) but everything else in this is absolutely as amazing to us as it is to you:

Amazing Kelvin, 12 yo

We got Kelvin onto Secret Agent Society at the last possible moment because we were so touched by his story. He was 12 years old and had never really had any friends. After 5 weeks in his Secret Agent Society course, he went to the local show/town fair and left his Mum to go and hang out with two other boys for a couple of hours. Mum had never seen him do that before and she was so proud of him. Since then, he's had a number of get-togethers with friends at his house and his confidence is so much higher than it's ever been. We are so proud of him.

Jemma the Brave, 14 yo

Jemma had barely left the house in the 6 months leading up to working with us. Mum was keen for us to work with her, but was pretty apprehensive about how it would work out. We were confident that her daughter would do well because Mum was super proactive and willing to try things.

Jemma started the Minecraft Social Skills group to build her confidence and to get her used to interacting with other students. Then, about 6 weeks later she started on our "Peers For Teens" course. She always comes with her video on and is always willing to share her ideas now. She appears to be one of the more outgoing children in her group, but the truth is she is working very hard on the inside to be brave and interact with others.

She now does about 2 different social activities with others from her school each week. Everybody is astounded, but the truth is that Jemma was always just a superstar waiting to unleash her personal awesomeness. We are so proud of her.

Sammy (who now has friends) 8 yo

Sammy has completed Secret Agent Society this year and is also loving doing weekly Minecraft Social Group sessions.

Before she had done Secret Agent Society, she just couldn't keep friends. She would talk with others, but because she was really firm and rigid about her standards and what she wanted to happen (some people might even say bossy), other children pulled back away from her and wouldn't really be her friend for long.

However, she was completely willing to take on board what she learned in Secret Agent Society. She started to understand how to let others have their say and how to compromise and how to be okay about it when others didn't want to do what she wanted.

She still has meltdowns at home, but now those meltdowns last about 40 minutes instead of the 2-hour meltdowns she used to have.

In Minecraft groups when there are new students there, we put them into Sammy’s group because she is so good at helping new people feel comfortable and she has learnt to negotiate well and give-and-take a bit. So proud of Sammy!

Here's the BIG IDEA:

Do not let your child's current social skills cause you to believe that things will always be as tough as they are now. Your child will surpass your expectations. I've never met a child with Autism who didn't surpass their parents expectations, after they had participated in training courses and social groups that were designed to help them unleash their inner awesomeness.

Something else that sounds crazy is that I literally could have listed 30 or 40 students (just off the top my head) who are totally surprising (and delighting) their parents. Once students start to learn the specific formulas for how to interact socially and how to remain calm and in control of their own emotions, everything opens up and life changes fairly quickly. There are always a million challenges that our kids face, but with new skills, they can face their future more bravely and more confidently.

Be bold, hold your hopes high, equip your child with skills and keep being an AWESOME parent.

Michael Clark

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

AUTISM Tip: This Skill Prevents Meltdowns More Than Any Other Skill I Know Of.

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:38:28 GMT

What you’re about to see is straight out of Secret Agent Society, Session 3. It’s called “The Helpful Thought Zapper” .

Often our kids can get into a loop of negativity and it is a self-destructive cycle that is almost certain to lead to a meltdown. When something small goes wrong, our child often tells themselves something like:

I’m stupid.
Everyone hates me.
I’m such an idiot.
I’m useless at this.
Everyone laughed at me.

There’s a better way.

The “ helpful thought zapper ” teaches your child how to break out of this cycle.

Your child can learn to choose what thoughts they will dwell on and reject the thoughts that are not helpful. Your child is not as captive to their thoughts as they think they are. Instead of thinking negative thoughts that are mean to ourselves, we can choose to think along these lines:

"I made a mistake and I will try again next time"
“That didn’t go to plan, but that’s okay.”
“I broke it, but we could always buy a new one.”
“I can’t seem to make this work by myself, but I could ask someone for help.”
“People laughed at me, but I still have some friends here.”

Remember, your child doesn’t need to learn every skill to thrive. Your child simply needs to learn the most important skills. Let’s focus on the skills that will make the biggest impact and let go of those that are just ‘nice-to-haves’. ��

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

IMPORTANT: Be patient here. This skill set is not learnt in one conversation. We teach it as part of an ongoing strategy over a period of a couple of weeks in our Autism course “Secret Agent Society”.

AUTISM Tip: How To Prevent Meltdowns.

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:34:44 GMT

Meltdowns happen. They are part of life… for now.

But there are some simple steps that any parent can take do to reduce how often meltdowns happen and reduce the amount of time we spent dealing with meltdowns.

I get so many questions about this that I made a series of videos about it so you can take your pick of videos right here: https://www.amazingskills.com.au/videos

Always remember that parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent, just need one who cares. ��

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

Stopping arguments at home (stupid arguments at bad times about unnecessary stuff)

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:28:06 GMT

I got asked "What I can do to stop the arguments that happen 4 nights a week?" Well, here's what helps most families and it's waaayyyy easier than you'd think -

Let’s stop having sudden arguments with our kids about stupid things at escalated times .

There's a better way: Instead - Let’s give our child a couple of hours to de-escalate before we deal with issues. Even better, wait until tomorrow.

When our kids have Autism they need us to hold off on correcting or dealing with issues until they have calmed down. Usually, let's wait until tomorrow.

If it’s a sudden argument: E.g. about getting off the computer or starting dinner or some other change that our child doesn’t want to make – then we’ve already lost before we started.

Let’s deal with the issue but not let it become a “secondary” argument about overall attitude, a lack of appreciation, or anything like that. If we are going to have that conversation, we need to have it tomorrow when our child is not upset about being of the computer, or whatever the issue was.

As parents, we want to solve things right there and then, but it is just not going to help. Have the hard conversations and another time, on another day, with a milkshake in hand, while playing with Lego etc etc. Let's do conflict in an autism-friendlier way.

In fact, I feel so strongly about this - that I made a bunch of 10 videos that show you exactly how to help your son or daughter to do really well with you at home - see them at our video page.

Also, if you need anything else - I pretty much mean anything - I'd love to get you what you need - just email me back and tell me. I'll try to support you.

Also, if your child would gain something from Lego group, Minecraft group, Girls' group, Boys' group, Social games group or any other social skills group, then let us know at www.amazingskills.com.au

:) Good luck with it all,

Michael Clark

0481614517

Amazing Skills - Helping kids/teens with Autism to love life!

Dealing With Bedtime Arguments (I'm not tired!) :)

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:19:46 GMT

Hi Parents In Our Autism Community,

We know this is really tricky. We know that so many of the kids and teens we look after having these arguments regularly with parents.

Reducing Bedtime Arguments:

Use a timer. Set the timer an hour before bedtime, or even better have your child set the timer.
Have a wind down routine. Set up so bedtime doesn’t mean go to sleep… It means you can read or do whatever you like in bed for 20 minutes.
Exhaust your child during the day with exercise (e.g. trampoline time) so they are more tired at bedtime.
Set our morning alarm earlier and morning routine earlier so that our child has been awake longer and will be more tired later.
Have a reward system so that each night we go to bed on time, we get an extra 15 minutes of computer games on tomorrow.
Dodge coke or caffeine drinks in the afternoon and evening

At Amazing Skills, many of us have children with Autism ourselves and we look forward to the bedtime routine about as much as you do.

Also some of the bedtime dramas come down to emotional regulation skills , and we have programs that help your child to develop those skills.

You can see those programs here: www.amazingskills.com.au .

Remember that you're an awesome parent.

�� Good luck,

Michael Clark

0481614517

Feel Like You're Hitting An Impossible Wall With Your Kids? (Here's Something For Hard Days)

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:15:22 GMT

You know that feeling, right? There are usually 2 main reasons we feel like this.

Reason 1: We have accidentally become isolated.

It's when we don't have 2 or 3 good friends who have kids with Autism who we can have a chat with. It's when we start to feel like were the only ones going through what we are facing. Isolation steals our ability to be measured and to keep perspective in tough times. We can't let ourselves get isolated from support from others because then we are not at our best for our kids.

Reason 2: We've lost sight of the fact that we are going through a season.

It's just the season. It's a hard season, and it's a long season, but it's still just a season and it will pass. It's late winter… It comes and it goes on that comes back again and then passes. when what we are facing feels like it is permanent we start to lose hope. But we all know that there have been tough season is an fairly good seasons with our kids and whatever we are facing at the moment is probably just a season.

Solution: We need great people to hang out with.

Here's an idea… Every month about 40 parents get together on Zoom with us and we interview 5 families about what they are facing in their families and what is working for them and what is not. The result is every single one of us feels encouraged because we can see that others are facing what we are facing and others are thriving in the midst of tough seasons.

Join us at the (Fun) Free Parent Encouragement Nights here: www.amazingskills.com.au/free-next-month-parent-support

There is absolutely no charge and so you can invite any of your friends and even people who we've never met before are inspiring us. We'd love for you to come and enjoy it (no babysitting needed - it's on Zoom)

�� Have fun,

Michael Clark

0481614517

Here's a Much Easier Way to Handle MELTDOWNS (Especially After School/End of Day) :)

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:07:40 GMT

Why is My Child Melting Down?

Because the whole day has felt overwhelming.

Life feels super-hard. My school-mates didn’t listen to me. People didn’t include me. I have masked and coped and pretended all day long but I’ve got nothing left.

I have done so well to hold it all together until now, but it’s just too much!

What Do I Need From Mum/Dad Right Now?

A way of deescalating and calming down these crazy emotions that are hard to handle.

Maybe a space where I play games, or listen to headphones by myself in my room, or just hide away from the world, or get lost in a movie or something.

Here’s the BIG THING for PARENTS to know:

Trying to correct me and help me change my outlook and choices right now is not going to help, because it will keep me right at the edge of frustration and overwhelm.

The best time to talk to me about making better choices or dealing with these emotions in a healthier way would be tomorrow, sometime early in the day after I have reset a bit.

Let’s Try Something New Here…

Imagine if we could create a safe space for me to de-escalate 45-60 minutes. A spot to calm down. To just recover a bit and get back into a calm and brave headspace.

Even better, imagine if that was part of the daily routine as soon as we got home from school.

You're a super-parent. You've got this. Also, if there's anything we can do to support your family, just reply and let us know.

Michael Clark

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

"My child seems to be going backwards."

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 12:27:16 GMT

A year ago, he was thriving and learning to make friends, but now he is back to being isolated again.

A year ago, he was hanging out with other boys his own age at least once every couple of weeks outside of school, and in school he was starting to make some friends. But not anymore.

Good news:

The first thing to keep in mind is that kids don’t lose their social skills. Skills just become dormant and unused, but they don't disappear.

Once her son starts to get the confidence to start to reuse his skills, things will get back on track quite quickly.

Confidence builds when kids experience success. So to get him using his social skills again, he needs to experience some success.

Take action:

Maybe mum needs to organize a get-together with them cousins or with a safe friend because he’s just not going to do that. Maybe it’s time to join a chess club or Minecraft group or something, because he’s obviously not going to create those social interactions himself.

He will not be happy about it:

Yes, he will probably try to manipulate his way out of these social events.

It’s just because it is uncomfortable for him in the short term for him because he’s lost some of his confidence.

As parents is our job to think long-term and is our job to push our kids that little bit further from their comfort zone then they really want to go.

He will be back on track quickly:

Mum is back in the frame of mind of knowing that things can improve and that they will improve. Mum is getting him involved in another social group in her town and she has enrolled him in one of the courses that we offer as well.

Persevere – things will get better for your child and for your family.

All of us in our families have seasons where things get hard and where we lose focus and where nothing seems to work.

You might have to try 5 different things before something finally works. Hang in there, things will always improve.

Look where your child is now compared with 3 years ago!

Choose optimism and action, rather than discouragement.

Michael Clark

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

Here's 3x Friendship Groups For Your Child To Enjoy and Grow Social Skills

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 12:23:19 GMT

Hopefully, your child is plugged in somewhere locally with a Scouts group or a sport or something. But sometimes you just don't have that.

Just thought I'd remind you we have social groups for keeping your child social and using friendship skills.

Minecraft Team Skills Group (7-15 yo): https://www.amazingskills.com.au/minecraft

Half your child's screen is Minecraft and half the screen is Zoom so we can see each other and hear each other and work together to build fun things. We learn to work together as a team and to give-and-take.

Art Friendship Group (7-17 yo): https://www.amazingskills.com.au/art-groups

It's not about the colouring in or drawing or painting or whatever your child chooses to do each day. Instead it's all about the conversations that happen while we emotionally regulate ourselves by doing some art. We build friendships and conversational skills.

Social Games Nights (11-20 yo): https://www.amazingskills.com.au/social-games

Super fun interactive games like "Would You Rather" or "Where in the World Are We?" or other very simple games to learn so that we can hang out with people and make friends.

These are just some of the NDIS-Friendly options you have - either locally or with us.

It takes a village to raise a child and we are here to be part of your village.

�� Have fun,

Michael Clark

0481614517

When The School Teacher Is Just NOT Listening!

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 12:18:44 GMT

At school, your child may feel starved of success, thirsty for a friend or some sort of social interaction. The environment feels harsh and unsafe. No oasis in sight?

You have more options than you realise. So what steps can we take?

1. Talk with your child's teacher.

Don't email. Don't use some sort of school messaging app. Go and have a chat with them. In fact, take them a coffee or hot chocolate when you chat. Remember to express appreciation for a few things, even if they are small.

2. Help the teacher understand what it feels like for your child.

Your child is hit by the fluorescent lights. The background noises sound as loud to them as a rock concert, and they feel so, so socially stuck. Most teachers have no idea what your child is experiencing, even the experienced teachers. How could they because they were never trained to help your child. Help them see what it feels like with Autism.

3. Go to the Principal or the Deputy.

If the teacher is still unreceptive, take it to the principal or the deputy principal. Do not waste your time with middle-management because in schools they just don't have the authority or the tools to get results for you. If the office admin team try to stop you from booking an appointment, tell them, "I have a confidential child safety matter to discuss" and you'll have an appointment within a day.

4. The principal or the deputy needs facts, not emotion.

Give them examples of things that are hurting your child and asked them to put some solutions in place. Be super-specific about dates locations and people involved. Let them know that you are happy to support the school in any way you can, and that you are looking for solutions not empathy. Don't look for validation - look for a commitment to specific steps to help your child.

5. Four weeks later, book in a follow-up appointment with the principal or deputy.

Again, tell the office admin people that there is a confidential, high-level safety issue that only the principal/deputy can solve. The more of the time that you take up with the principal or the deputy, the more likely they are to get you a result, because they have all the tools and all the authority to create results. Also because they actually are busy people and they don't want to be is being their time discussing things with you. They would rather just fix things.

6. Be willing to consider other schools

Generally the most accommodating schools are going to be a small Catholic school or a small Christian school or some sort of school that only has about 150 kids.

7. Be willing to consider the possibility that the school is doing more than you realise.

We all feel like the school is not doing enough. But sometimes a school is doing more than we initially think they are and it's worth being open to hearing that.

�� Have fun,

Michael Clark

0481614517

Hi Parents - This week we're creating and attending our very own yummy food festival! ��

Have you ever been to one? Well, the one we're going to make is going to have restaurants, barbecues, food factories and food parties. Imagine all of your favourite foods in one place!

Social skill of the week: Asking “open-ended questions” to find out others’ opinions - these are questions that invite people to answer with a long answer, not just a yes or no.

These kinds of questions help keep the conversation going and give the person you're speaking to a chance to share more interesting things that can help you learn something new.

The best time to have conversations with others is over a delicious meal. It's going to be a great time!

Here’s your link - where to go:

Tomorrow, the link for Minecraft will be the same as in previous weeks here: https://zoom.us/s/5068624878

Extra Sessions/Double-sessions

If your child wants a catch-up session tomorrow or a double session - just let us know. Either text or email us your child's name, what state you live in and what time you'd like to book them in for.

We can offer spots at 3.30/4.30/5.30 NSW/VIC/QLD/TAS time

That's 3pm/4/5pm in SA)

Here are a few jokes for you.

a pig gets hot in a dessert it shouts, "I'm bacon out here."

A type of sand that is never late is quicksand.

Camels usually have deserts after a full meal.

If you are going to a desert, make sure your pack has a thirst-aid kit.

�� Have fun,

Michael Clark

0481614517

I'm sorry. A lot of people got upset.

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 12:02:09 GMT

(Sorry about last week's email about when some crazy psychologist said to our 15 yo student, “You’ll never have a j-o-b and you’ll always be sin-g-le.”)

People wrote back to me when they saw my email about a week ago. They said things like “I am shocked and angry that a psychologist would be so stupid as to tell a 15 year old that he will never have a job or a girl friend. I’m still angry about that.”

Um… should I say this?... It took me a day and a half to actually forgive that psychologist somewhere deep inside my heart. I haven’t even met her. But I had to realise that sitting around feeling angry with a stranger was sort of silly for someone my age.

GOOD NEWS: Plus, by then, we had already arranged for one of our staff (who is a successful adult with Autism and a job) to phone that boy up and let him know that his psychologist was totally mistaken.

SORRY: Part of me sort of wishes I hadn’t sent that email last week. Oops. I was trying to encourage parents - that your child can overcome the negative things people say. The world doesn't get changed by our collective outrage.

New skills will trump negative words in the long run.

My goal was to encourage you that your child has what it takes and even if a psychologist is that un-wise, that it doesn’t need to hold your child back.

So if that email caused you to feel upset and angry for more than 2 minutes, then I’m sorry. I really am. Let's not live angry.

Because here is what happens when you equip your child with new skills:

Ally (11yo) felt upset with her social group, but she didn’t close her computer and run away and cry (as she had done every other time)… Instead she just waited till the end of the session and then fell apart.
Jason (12 yo) who had never had a friend come to his place has had 4 friends come over in the last 2 months.
Zach (20 yo) now hangs out with friends every fortnight on the regularly scheduled computer games night. The eat a lot of chips and drink a lot of Coke and stay up till way too late. But it’s socializing and it ‘s a huge leap forward.
Jemma (8yo) went to her first ever birthday party that she actually enjoyed. No meltdowns… At least not to go in the car afterwards. But what a massive win, and mum was so proud.
Kirra still has meltdowns, but they tend to last about 40 minutes now, not the 2 hours that her family were used to before she did Secret Agent Society.
I literally could give you 150 examples, but that would be a long email.

These are just some of the everyday wins that we see all day every day.

The crazy psychologist who told our teenage student that he would never have a job or a girl friend probably spends too much time analysing things and not enough time equipping kids with brand-new skills. Maybe she just needs some encouragement herself.

If she sees what we see all the time, she would never have said that. Forgive her. And I'm sorry you if you got as angry as I did.

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

AUTISM: The Psychologist said to my 15 yo son, “You’ll never have a j-o-b and you’ll always be s-i-n-g-le.” So here’s what we did.

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 10:09:52 GMT

Actually, it was worse… What the psychologist actually said was,

“You’ll never have a job and you’ll never have a girl -friend.”

He is 15.

He is partway through the course we run the teenagers that equips them with social skills (called “PEERS for Teens”).

So he is literally half-way through the course that has equipped so many of our students with skills further how to make conversation, how to view others as safe and fun, how to express opinions, which sort of social groups are the most likely to be good for finding friends.

Who the heck is this psychologist to make such a stupid and unfounded declaration like that?

PAUSE - First thing is this email is not here to cause you to feel anger.

So, if you’re feeling as cranky as I felt when I first heard about this, please pause and stop and accept that this lady is still a human being and she is flawed like the rest of us.

Clearly she made a mistake. She doesn’t even realize her mistake, or the level of destructive that the statement could have been for this boy.

I wish this story was made up, but it’s true and this boy’s mum told me about it recently.

So here’s what we did…

I have a great friend (James) who has Autism and he works for the government he and earns probably twice as much as the psychologist does at his JOB. He and I made a 10 minute video where I asked him lots of questions about what is life looks like (he is now 32). In it, we make super clear that he has a great job and he loves his job. I gave him a huge opportunity to tell us about how his job contributes to others. Life’s not perfect, but he is a very happy guy.

Then, we showed all our teenagers and young adults this video so that they could get a bit inspired and know that they, too, can have a bright future and that when people declare that they don’t have what it takes to succeed, they will know that that is not the truth.

Next, we made sure that in our ‘PEERS Teens/Young Adults’ social skills program, this video will be shown on the last day of each child’s course - every time we run that course - for ever. If you're interested our social skills courses - for kids of different ages, go here: https://www.amazingskills.com.au/

Is that a happy ending?

Has more good than harm come out of this story?

I’d love to know what you think – feel free to tell me.

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

Autism Parenting - Get control of your time again - You can do it.

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 18:25:44 GMT

(Hint: You can do less than you're doing - and still be amazing for your child)

Sometimes parents feel overwhelmed.

Actually, 99% of the time we feel overwhelmed by:

Make your child's lunch.
Get your child to school despite the meltdown that we are anticipating.
Where are the clean school uniforms?
What do you mean you forgot your homework book?
No, I don't know where your toothbrush is (how does anybody lose a toothbrush?) .

Raising any child is overwhelming .

Raising your child with the extra work that goes into setting them up to succeed when they have Autism can be extremely overwhelming.

But what actually matters at the end of the day?

What is one thing that takes 5 minutes that our children will actually benefit from?

Maybe it's that 5 minutes of the day where you got down on your child's level and you just played Lego or Pokemon with your child.

Maybe it was when you let them talk to you about Minecraft (which you have no personal interest in) for 5 minutes and you just listened semi-attentively.

Maybe was when you jumped on the trampoline or rode your bike or kicked a soccer ball with your child for 5 minutes.

Maybe you're doing a better job as a parent than you realise. Maybe you are already doing the things that matter most.

Just so you know…

Here at Amazing Skills, myself and also every single staff member is impressed and amazed by the efforts that you are going to every day.

All those things you do that you think nobody would notice or care about… Your child notices.

And your child is the only audience that matters.

Keep being an awesome parent - because you already are doing great things,

Michael Clark

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

"My child hates going to OT, Speech and Psych!"

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 17:34:22 GMT

I get told this by so many parents. Here’s exactly what I show them to make things easier for you and less draining for EVERYONE...

From what I can see, there are a lot of families who feel like they are hitting their head against brick walls with the traditional speech therapy, OT and psychology. Those therapies are FANTASTIC - but getting our kids to turn up smiling and keen is tough.

Here’s How To Make Speech/OT/Psych Better:

Do 6-8 Session Blocks : Kids and teens seem to do well with 6-8 session blocks of those intensive therapies. After that many sessions, kids doing Speech/OT/Psych start to feel like it’s mundane and resist it. When you’re booking in, maybe aim for 6-8 session blocks and then a pause before the next block.

Set a high-priority goal, then pause: Why are we doing speech, OT and Psych? It is to get a particular result. We should not be doing it out of routine or out of fear of losing our place, but to get a particular result (For example, overcoming a food aversion or learning to express opinions rather than masking etc). Once those goals are met, it could be time for a pause. Then start again in 2 months when there are new goals to pursue.

Does your child need to change their OT/speechie/psychologist? These therapies are built on the strength of the relationship between your child and your specialist. If the relationship is broken or damaged, ask your provider for a different person. They will usually be happy to help.

Think Outside The Box - Give Your Child Variety:

The traditional therapies of speech, OT and psych are hard work and quite intense for your child. They are necessary, they are purposeful, they are so important, but we are underestimating how exhausting it is for your child. So accept their resistance, without judging it – they are doing their best. There must be some alternative ways in your local area of getting the same skills or building on those newly developed skillls, but in a more fun and engaging and exciting way.

Scouts/Girl guides/Church Youth Groups
Local horse-riding therapies
Local interest groups

Also, do you realise that we run social groups specifically for children and teenagers with Autism, like:

Minecraft Social Skills Group (meets the same goals that your child speech therapist would be working on)
Art and Craft Friendship group (instead of talking about having friends, your child will experience what it feels like to have friends in a group like this)
Our Teens Games Nights (Boardgames, Kahoots, 2 truths & a lie etc etc) - these are so much fun and such a healthy place for the children and teens aged 11-17 to get together and enjoy being social.

So let’s be really clear, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do the traditional therapies. We should. Your child needs them and they work. They’re great.

What I am saying is that Speech/OT/Psych should be for specific goals, for short bursts of time, switching them on and off for variety, built on healthy relationships with specialists, but also backed up by fun therapies that our kids look forward to that are outside the traditional areas.

Keep being an awesome parent,

Michael.

amazingskills.com.au 0481614517

Michael Clark

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

Don't Just Entrust Your Child To "Experts". Stay INVOLVED and Trust Your Intuition

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 05:34:30 GMT

Your Parent-Judgement is worth as much as an 'Expert Opinion'.

There are some things that you need to trust experts on.

That would include things like space travel, medical scares, fixing your air-con, the solar panels on your roof etc etc.

However, when it comes to knowing what your child actually needs, nobody knows your child like you do.

I feel really worried when I meet parents who are completely entrusting their child's future to the judgement of others. Especially when they've lost their confidence in their own 'Parent Judgement'.

Experts usually haven't spent much time with your child

Experts are good at pointing out the blind spots that we as parents don't see, but the experts can never know your child like you do. So we need to understand that an expert opinion is just that… An opinion. It's not a fact. Trust your parent-intuition.

Here's a time I got things so, so wrong!

For example, I remember a mind-blowing time last November - I thought I understood one of the students that I work for. After the first session, I thought I could see what she was facing and how to help. The next day though, her mum phoned and told me that her daughter had spent the whole session MASKING and that what I was seeing was absolutely nothing like what her daughter was actually experiencing.

I've been working with children who have Autism for 20 years, but sometimes I get things wrong. That's why I need to trust the judgement of the parents I work with.

(By the way, her little girl is flourishing now, but only because I trusted Mum's judgement)

Trust your parent intuition

If your child's psychologist, OT or speech therapist tells you something that just does not sit well with you and leaves you either doubting yourself or reducing your expectations of what you believe can happen in your child's future, then maybe they are mistaken.

If your child's teacher or school principal tells you that they can't accommodate what your child needs, and you are surprised by that, then I'll bet they are mistaken.

As parents we need to put forward what we believe to be true. If you think somebody is missing the mark, tell them what you think is actually happening. Not every 'expert' views things like I do, but I've really learnt to trust parents' judgement. The best experts are always great listeners.

So here's the BIG IDEA:

Boldly express your opinion. Tell the experts everything they need so they can make good decisions, but always trust your own judgement because you've spent many years learning about your child and an expert may have only spent hours or even minutes with your child.

Do you think maybe this email is just plain wrong?

Well, if you think that what I'm writing here is completely wrong, that's probably a good thing. It means that you are trusting your own judgement and not just blindly believing what others are telling you. In fact, feel free to write back to me and tell me that I'm mistaken, because I'm very open to that - when it comes from a parent. :)

Michael Clark

0481614517

www.amazingskills.com.au

AUTISM Tip: How To Set Your Child Up To Succeed On A Play-Date

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 05:26:40 GMT

Did you know that there are ways to increase the chances that a play date will go well? Here are the best tips that parents of children with autism who we work with have road-tested:

PLAN: Plan a schedule for the time together and share the proposed schedule with your child’s friend

TIME: it is so much better to have a short play date that succeeds, rather than a longer play date that goes off-track. Keep things short… ideally around 90 minutes.

FOOD: Kids love food and it gives them something fun to talk about. Also, kids who are busy eating don’t have to be talking, so it helps your child escape from face-to-face communication.

MOVIES: movies enable our kids to hang out with their friends and have a good time without having to be talking to each other. It is worthwhile to plan the movie with the other parent ahead of time so that both kids will have a movie they love and haven’t seen before.

BACK-UP PLAN: what about when things go very, very wrong? As a parent we need to know ahead of time when our plan is if things just go very badly. It might be something along the lines of saying to the kids, “I’m sorry kids - Something has come up for me and I need to take [Friend] home earlier - but we can do this again sometime.”

You’re a great parent (Yes, really!)

Always remember that if you are taking a moment to read this, then clearly, you are a proactive parent and your child is lucky to have you. ��

YOU’RE DOING GREAT: Always remember that if you are taking a moment to read this, then clearly, you are a proactive parent and your child is lucky to have you. ��

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

[ NOTE: One of the optional activities in the Secret Agent Society program is to invite a friend over. Often our students are doing this for the very first time ever. www.amazingskills.com.au ]

AUTISM Tip: Building Self-Confidence In Your Child With Autism

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 05:12:16 GMT

Did you realise this?

Children up to 7 years old both have a view themselves largely on what others say to them. From 8 years old, most children are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses. That’s when they need skills.

There comes a point in our child’s journey where we need to be less focused on affirming them, and more focused on giving them new skills. Once your child develops better skills for dealing with social situations, for making conversations and for staying calm, your child will be less dependent on your reassurance.

You can’t be there for your child all day, every day. However, you can teach them skills that they can use all day every day.

Skills help our kids in the long-term far more than a reassuring comment ever could. Despite your exhaustion, go ahead and book in the OT. See the speech therapist for that extra session. Register for whatever course your child needs. Do whatever it takes to help your child develop new skills. Despite your ongoing tiredness, you really can do this.

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

[Let’s remind ourselves that our child is on their way to becoming an amazing, world-impacting person who will contribute unique and outstanding things to the world around them. Even if it may not always feel like it, things are on track. ��]

Simple Steps For Improving Conversational Skills

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 05:10:05 GMT

Did you realise that most conversations you have as an adult with others are actually following the same script? Here’s what I mean:

“Hi Jen, how are you going.”

“Good thanks. How you been?”

“We’ve been busy - so much to do at work. How are the kids?”

“Yeah, they are arguing with each other as usual, but they love each other. How your kids going?”

Etc.

Scripts work well for you

Guess what… You’re having the same conversations over and over except with different people! Well, your child can learn to do this too.

Scripts can help your child, too

Your child can learn a basic script for interacting with others. It won’t work every time, but it will usually give your child a good start.

A basic script might have questions like this:

How are you going?
What have you done for fun, today?
What are your plans for after school/tonight?

Clearly, it will take more than 3 questions to learn to develop conversational skills, but even knowing 3 good questions to ask prevents your child from freezing up and feeling completely awkward and unable to talk to others.

Best of all, it’s something that you can practice at home.

You’re a great parent (Yes, really!)

Always remember that if you are taking a moment to read this, then clearly, you are a proactive parent and your child is lucky to have you. ��

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

[ NOTE: This is content taken straight from our social skills courses for children with Autism. If this sounds helpful for your child, find out more at www.amazingskills.com.au ]

AUTISM: Big Family Events – Helping Your Child Cope & Preventing Overwhelm

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 04:49:01 GMT

Let’s be honest - big events can be a big whirlwind for your child. There are so many out-of-routine new people and surprises, which can be a recipe for getting overwhelmed or melting down. Here are some ideas for helping our kids to be ready for the next big event and able to enjoy it.

Tip 1: Prepare your child for the big event whirlwind ahead.

The day before, walk your child through the schedule for the day. Ideally, write down the main things that will happen and approximate times. Remember to add smiley faces or draw some tiny pictures so it doesn’t look like a boring timetable.

Tip 2: Work out a secret signal

Help your child come up with a secret signal or codeword that they can use to let you know when they are starting to feel overwhelmed. We need them to use this signal before they actually hit the point of being overwhelmed. Check in with them regularly during the day and ask if they need to use the signal.

Tip 3: Plan breaks and downtime

Your relatives may not understand that your child can’t just sit at the dinner table for 2 hours listening to old people tell boring stories. They need time away from others. Plan that time with your child. It could be things like jumping on the trampoline, lying down on the couch listening to their headphones, playing a computer game, or taking the dog for a walk.

Tip 4: Have a backup plan

Things may not go to plan, and that is okay. Overwhelmed feelings happen. Meltdowns happen. Have a backup plan for if things just don’t go right. It could be having a movie and hand that you can put on for the kids, adding some extra toys or games in the car that you can bring out if you need them, or a plan to take your child to the park for a while so they can have some space to emotionally regulate a bit. When you know what your backup plan is, you will feel more confident.

Tip 5: Accept that your child will find things to be a bit tricky.

Of course, we support our kids where we can, but big events are tough days. Setting our expectations as parents along realistic lines make things easier for everyone. Your child will find it tough. Therefore, it will probably be tough for parents as well.

Hang in there - you are a proactive parent. After all, you are reading this help your child. ��

Michael Clark

0448064555

AUTISM Tip: Others Don’t Understand What It’s Like When You’re A Parent Of A Child With Autism

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 04:38:18 GMT

You deserve to feel supported, understood and acknowledged as a parent of a child with Autism.

The path you walk is different to the path that the parent next door walks.

One of the toughest things for parents that we work for is the sense of isolation they have and the feeling that “Other parents don’t understand what I’m going through.”

Sure, there are plenty of support groups on Facebook, but you deserve more. There is an enormous difference between talking with a human being, versus writing a message that people respond to a few hours later and that you then respond back to them with text in. Talk to humans.

It is so much more helpful to talk to a human being, either in person, or on the phone.

Do you realise that you already have many parents in your social circles who have children with Autism. These people would love to have a chat with you if they only knew how much you are hurting and how isolated you feel.

Sometimes we need to be brave and reach out to others and invite them for a coffee or asked them for help.

I have facilitated many hundreds of parent training sessions for families with a child with Autism. In these sessions, I’ve never met a parent of a child who wasn’t happy to help another parent in the similar shoes. Never.

Here’s what parents of children with Autism are starting to learn: There is no substitute for talking with another parent who has walked in your shoes and who understands. If you don’t have a couple of those people in your life already, maybe today is the day you will arrange a coffee with someone who understands. What have you got to lose?

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

AUTISM Tip: How To Get Real Support From Your Child’s School & Teacher

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 04:33:37 GMT

Sound familiar? Here’s a conversation/email/text message I have with parents most weeks…

Hi Michael,

My daughter’s teacher doesn’t seem to care that she feels stuck and lost all day at school. She has meltdowns that could be prevented if the teacher would just check in on her and make sure that she is coping. How do I help her teacher to ‘get it’?

Rebecca.

Hi Rebecca,

Sometimes parents see that their child’s teacher is less than cooperative or less than helpful.

My background is that I’ve spent 2 decades as a classroom schoolteacher and let me show you what it’s like for your child’s teacher…

Most teachers have only a hazy idea at best of how your child experiences the world.

All they see each day is that your child is responding in ways that hurt themselves and others socially, but most teachers can’t understand the reasons why.

So your job as a parent is to help your child’s teacher understand what it feels like for your child in different situations.

For example, what are the triggers to your child feeling overwhelmed?
What is it like for your child to be sitting directly under bright lighting or in a loud or crowded environment?
How does it feel when the anxiety levels skyrocket?
How does it feel for a child who is extra-sensitive to physical sensations when they have to wear a tight collared shirt and a tie?

Once your child is teacher understands what it feels like to spend a day in our child’s shoes, they can then see the purpose in changing what they are doing in the classroom. They can see the importance of helping your child have a better experience.

A lot of what parents perceive to be a lack of caring from schools is actually a complete lack of understanding of what your child is experiencing.

90% of teachers are compassionate, caring people who just need someone to help them understand. That is something that you as a parent have the power to help with.

“But Michael, I tried that and the teacher literally does not care!”

That’s different. Of course, in the less common situations when your child’s teacher literally doesn’t care, it is your role to take it further with the principal. Sometimes we need to help people see that it is more time efficient for them to support your child than to ignore you and consuming the principles time is one way of doing that. Remember, you are not there to be popular with teachers or school staff. Your #1 priority is to support your child and to advocate for them.

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

[NOTE: This is content taken straight from our parent training sessions that we run as part of our social skills courses for children with autism. www.amazingskills.com.au ]

AUTISM Tip: You Are A Parent, Not A Therapist

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 04:19:23 GMT

I’ve realised something weird lately. The children I work for always have parents who are 100% committed to them.

These parents are so keen for any ideas and strategies to help their child learn new skills and enjoy their lives.

It’s great that we want to support our child. Often, we need to support our child by doing the homework tasks that the speech therapist or the occupational therapist gave us. Other times we do need to help by teaching table manners and helping with homework from school etc etc.

But here’s the thing - There are also times to just enjoy our children and to switch off from supporting them and switch on to just being with them.

We only have our children with us for a few short years, and it’s important to take time out each day where we are not teaching them something new, but rather, just enjoying them.

Always remember that you are a limited resource and you only have a certain amount of time and energy to get by on. Your child is not expecting perfect parenting and we shouldn’t either. ��

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

AUTISM Tip: How To Maintain A Conversation

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 04:13:08 GMT

Did you already know that most children’s conversations are just a series of questions and answers?

The difference between a conversation that works and a conversation that fails is this: conversations that flow naturally are those where the topic is about a shared interest (something that both people like to talk about).

We need to teach our children that the topics of conversation need to be something that the other person wants to talk about. We can’t talk about Minecraft with everyone all day. Also, even if we were both talking about Minecraft, we need to be asking the other person plenty of questions about their experiences.

Conversations are not just for the purpose of exchanging information. Rather, conversations are an opportunity for people to share their thoughts, opinions and feelings. We do that by asking relevant questions and listening to people’s answers and by talking about topics that other people share our interest in.

Always remember that if you are taking a moment to read this, then clearly, you are a proactive parent and your child is lucky to have you. ��

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

[This is actually content that is woven into both our courses ‘Secret Agent Society’ and ‘PEERS for Teens’

www.amazingskills.com.au ]

When Other Parents Want To Judge Your Parenting

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 04:09:54 GMT

Are you sick of being judged as a bad parent who lets the kids get away with everything

Yep.

We need to accept that others cannot possibly understand. Then we can let go of our anger and frustration). Seriously, they don’t understand and they won’t understand because they don’t have a child with Autism. So let’s not wish for things that are not realistic.

However, we don’t have to stay isolated.

We need other parents around us who do understand - parents who have children with Autism too. One of the most exciting things I get to do in my job of helping children who have Autism is actually connecting their parents up with each other. We end up with a parent support network that sort of informally just happens over time. You don’t need to wait until your child is doing a course to get that sort of support.

Find some great parents of kids with Autism in your school community and reach out to them. They won’t reject you because they know how you feel. Invite them for a coffee. Swap phone numbers with them. They are probably feeling isolated and misunderstood, just like you are.

People are valuable. People who understand the path we are walking and are even more valuable!

You can do this - you are braver than you realise.

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

AUTISM Tip: How To Respond To Bullying.

Thu, 22 Jun 2023 11:06:44 GMT

This is such a vital skill-set for children with autism and we deal with it a lot!

Let me give you the key points of what we teach kids so you can begin an ongoing conversation with your child at home.

Teasing/bullying happens to achieve a social goal for the benefit of the bully.
There are at least 8 different motivations for bullies - They are not picking on you because there is something wrong with you.
The goal of the person being targeted should be to avoid giving the bully the response they are looking for. (That’s because this reduces the chances that we will become targets again in the future).
There are plenty of preventative strategies our children can learn, such as deliberately choosing to stay with groups/friends rather than allowing ourselves to be isolated.
Your child can also be taught what steps to take such as how to use a confident face and a confident voice and how to calmly walk away from a confrontation before it escalates.

PARENTS: YOUR NEXT STEP

You can begin to teach your child new skills for handling bullying. You can help your child at home by watching Youtube videos or TV shows where kids are encountering low-level teasing or bullying.

Examine the strategies that characters used to respond to teasing/bullying.
If the goal is to withdraw calmly from a teasing/ bullying situation, did the characters succeed at that?
What are some other, better strategies the characters could have used?

Always remember that if you are taking a moment to read this, then clearly, you are a proactive parent and your child is lucky to have you. ��

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

[ NOTE: This is not original content - it’s taken straight from our social skills courses for children with Autism. www.amazingskills.com.au ]

AUTISM Tip: How To Start A Conversation

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 11:21:21 GMT

Here’s a tip… Let’s not train our kids to walk up to people and say “Hi, I’m ______. How are you?”

Seriously, that’s pretty awkward and if the other kids don’t want to talk then their only way out of that situation is to reject your child.

There is a much better way.

We need to teach our kids to walk up to a group and hang out nearby and listen to what the group is talking about. Then our child can make a comment that expresses an opinion (in a positive way) about whatever they are talking about.

At that point, the group can either accept to ignore our child, but they are less likely to reject our child.

Also we can teach our kids to walk away if the group is not interested or positive.

This is a challenging social skill and it literally takes us a couple of sessions of training kids before they get really good at this. However, you can start chipping away at this skill at home with your child anytime you like.

Always remember that if you are taking a moment to read this, then clearly, you are a proactive parent and your child is lucky to have you. ��

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

[ This content is straight from: Session 1 of “PEERS Course for Teens” AND Session 6 of “Secret Agent Society”. See more info at www.amazingskills.com.au ]

AUTISM Tip: Helping Your Child Recognize The Difference Between ‘Playful Joking’ Vs ‘Actual Teasing’

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 11:14:53 GMT

“Was my friend just joking or was he trying to be mean to me?”

This is really challenging for children with Autism. However, there are clues we can look for. For example, if we don’t like what happened and we tell our friend “I didn’t like that,” do they respond by looking serious and saying “Sorry”, or do they respond by pushing us further and using a teasing/sarcastic voice? When people are playfully joking, but then told that you didn’t like it, they won’t tease us. They will stop.

PARENT HINT: You can support your child’s learning at home by having conversations at the dinner table or in the car about different scenarios and different ways to respond. Our children need to see that we may not know for sure what someone else’s motives are, but we can tell from their responses whether they are concerned for us or not.

Always remember that if you are taking a moment to read this, then clearly, you are a proactive parent and your child is lucky to have you. ��

Michael Clark (Course leader for children & teens with Autism)

www.amazingskills.com.au

[ NOTE: This is not original content - it’s taken straight from our social skills courses for children with Autism. www.amazingskills.com.au ]

How to Choose the Right School for Autistic Kids in Australia

michael@bigimprovements.com.au (Michael Clark) — Wed, 07 Jun 2023 00:29:04 GMT

Primary school for Autism can be challenging when your little one is just starting school. As tricky as navigating through finding the right school for autism can be, there are some simple yet essential things to look out for.

According to Autism Aspergers Advocacy Australia (A4) organization, the Australian government must support the welfare of early intervention in education and related activities with exceptional support, which is now becoming more recognized in schools across Australia.

Knowing your options when choosing good schools for autism can help you make an informed timeline and decision for your child.

Guide to Selecting an Autistic School

When considering an excellent autistic school, here is a tested roadmap we share with parents with amazing skills to make their navigation easy.

Do you want to choose a mainstream school for your child?
Do you want to look for special autistic trained teachers, staff, curriculum and activities for your child while still attending the mainstream school?
Do you want a private school with a particular needs-based focus on children with autism?
Are you looking for a specialized school that already works with autistic children under their supervision?
Do you want to home-school your child instead but learn more about autistic study work, activities, and management techniques
In your particular case, distance education and schooling can be an option.

Keep in mind when deciding on your child, you must keep in mind the level of autism.

Once you are through the preliminary round of choosing what kind of autistic school you want your child to attend, what should be your next step?

Here are some key factors to consider when choosing primary schools for autism;

How to Choose the Best School for Autism in Australia Near You?

Your first litmus test to pick the right school is to ask for honest reviews. Online autistic parent communities in your locality can be the first stop to look for honest feedback.

You can always go for open days, school tours, or private visits. Ensure you look for a welcoming demeanour, an open conversation from teachers or principals, and connections with other parents to see how their children perform at school.

Once satisfied with the environment, here are some other detailed vital factors to look for;

Individual Learning Plans

Do they offer a detailed curriculum, plan, activities, and stationery for autistic students? If yes, that is your first cue at a quality autistic school. Understanding the different strengths and challenges of children with autism is crucial.

Also, look for behavioural and emotional therapies cultivated through play and other fun activities to understand the needs of autistic children.

Micheal and the Team have to say from their experience with parents, “Any school can claim to give individualised support. You will know when you walk through the school to see if they have a culture of actually doing that in practice.”

Social Interaction and Related Activities

What activities does the school encourage amongst children? Do they stress social interaction with peers? Do they introduce fun activities that encourage children to make friends and have self-confidence? What will the inclusion look like? As a parent, you are entitled to all of these critical questions.

Consider asking about any activity they do in music or sports that encourages healthy social interactions.

Recommended Read - How to Respond to Bullying?

Behavioural Development

Behaviour regulation is significant, so asking for specially trained teachers for autism should be a top priority on your query list.

You should know how peer and teacher interactions will encourage or discourage behaviour patterns in children.

You also should stress what kind of behaviour patterns your child has and would need help with for better learning and peer interaction at school.

Communication and Collaboration

Open lines of communication between parents and educators are crucial. Consider how well the staff communicates with parents when looking for an excellent primary school.

Are they open to discussions about your child's progress and challenges? Do they involve you in decision-making processes?

A school that values collaboration and partnership with parents can significantly impact your child's educational journey.

Michael and the Team at Amazing Skills said: “ Plenty of teachers care deeply about your child, but others just don’t understand your child and will find communicating and collaborating with you annoying. Dodge that at all costs. ”

Recommended Read - How to Start a Conversation?

Sensory-Friendly Environment

Sensory sensitivities are common among children with autism. Look for a school that understands this and creates a sensory-friendly environment.

Consider noise levels, lighting, classroom layout, and access to quiet spaces. A school that considers sensory needs can help your child feel more comfortable and focused, enhancing their learning experience.

Here is what Micheal and Team share in their experience: “ Loud school bells, fluorescent lights, crowded areas… Schools are a war zone for kids with sensory issues. You’ll need to plan well with your child’s teacher .”

Transition Support

Transition support should be an obvious thing worth doing, but some schools don’t value it. So then they spend more time dealing with upset kids instead of supporting them before they get upset.

Transition support saves many other issues for your child, even those coming up.

Transitions can be challenging for autistic children, whether it's moving to a new grade, changing schools, or transitioning to adulthood. Consider how the school supports these transitions.

Are there transition programs in place? Does the school offer guidance and resources to help your child smoothly navigate these changes? A school prioritizing smooth transitions can significantly support your child's growth and development.

Conclusion from Michael and Team (at Amazing Skills)

Remember, finding the right school for your autistic child is a journey. Trust your instincts, visit different schools, and ask questions.

Seek out recommendations from other parents of autistic children or local support groups. Your child deserves a school that embraces their uniqueness and gives them the tools to thrive.

Considering these factors, you can make an informed decision and find a school that will provide your child with a supportive, inclusive, and nurturing educational experience.

Together, let's empower our exceptional autistic children and ensure they have access to the education they deserve.

(Video) Here's what to chat about with your child's teacher:

If you're finding it tricky to get support for your child with Autism, get in touch with the Amazing Skills team.

They'd love to help.